In honor of Mother’s Day, I want to spend this week reflecting on life as a mom. Last year, I made a list of things I love about being a mom. When I reread it this year, it still is all so true. Being a mom isn’t easy, but most of the time it’s great!
This year, I want to share an article written by my mother in August 1989. She had a weekly column in our local newspaper, and she often wrote about my sister and me. Her column is an inspiration for this blog, and I often think about her as I write. Here are her lessons from motherhood – and I’ve added some more of my own at the end.
Seven years ago this week, I trooped around the State Fair, great with child. Like all parents-to-be, I zeroed in on babies and small children through some instinctive radar. It’s kind of like when you get a new car and all of a sudden you can spot the same model zooming past at 70 mph three lanes away.
When you’re a non-parent someplace like the fair, you half-expect there must be a booth somewhere where you can rent-a-kid, because they’re everywhere: sticky, crying, squirming, spilling, whining, running, shrieking. Occasionally, rarely, you might see a sweetly sleeping tyke on someone’s shoulder, and you think, “that’s the kind I’ll have.”
Right.
A week past my due date, it was a little late for second thoughts. But I remember feeling a little alarmed by it all. For some reason, I kept thinking back to all the times I babysat and how wonderful it was when the parents got home.
Since summer is filled with birthdays at my house, it is a time of taking stock. No one has to tell me I’ve gotten older; as for better — well, it depends.
Seven years ago, I was certainly better read. I saw more movies and plays. I cooked more, I wrote more letters, and otherwise did a better job keeping up my end of a friendship.
All in all, over the last seven years, I seem to have lost ground in a lot of ways. We still get a newsmagazine but I can’t recall the last time I read it cover to cover. Seven years ago, I guess.
Still, I have to admit there are some things I’ve learned in the last seven years:
- I now know what to do if I come across a crayon on a floor: leave it there. For if you put it in a pocket, and it goes into a dryer, your laundry will never be the same. Few things are forever, but melted crayon is one of them.
- You can toilet-train using a drink-and-wet doll and piles of gaily wrapped presents and bribes and sweets. Or you can shrug and wait until the child begs for Snoopy pants and get pretty much the same results.
- Goldfish are boring, cannot be boarded anywhere and are not considered by small children to be a substitute for a “real” pet anyway.
- How to wash a kid’s hair without getting any water in the eyes. I promise.
- Seven different Sarahs, nine different Kates, and six variations of Kirsten, and how to keep them all straight. Most of the time.
- Apple juice may look like it won’t stain but it will. Trust me.
- “Baby Beluga” and the rest of the Raffi repertoire.
- “Goodnight Moon” without even having to have the light on. ‘
- To remember to call it “The California Raisins Song” instead of “Heard it Through the Grapevine.”
- Not to try to explain to gas station people that the reason there’s silky nightgowns and lingerie in the backseat is because your toddler uses it as a lovey.
- How to receive a bouquet of dandelions and birthday presents crafted of Kleenex graciously.
- How to pack a lunch in 90 seconds or less.
- Why it is a good idea to buy slip-on shoes even after the child knows how to tie her shoes herself.
- How to make an animal out of pancake batter, playdough out of flour and a Barbie island hut out of Easter grass and an old infant seat.
- How to leave a crying child and go to work and not cry yourself.
- How to work with a child on the lap, under foot, across the table, or on the other end of the phone.
- When to stay home and watch “Willie Wonka” with a sick child, three times in a row.
- Where the Dr. Seuss books are at the library.
- How to sew on a Brownie patch, which is only a little bit easier than sewing on a tin can.
- The answer to the riddle “What can you use to brush your teeth, keep the rain off your head, and unlock a door?” (A toothbrush, umbrella and key, dummy).
OK, so I no longer know who heads the opposition party in Canada. I’ve forgotten how to fold a crepe, and I haven’t been to the opening night of a play in years.
But in the last seven years, I’ve learned how patient I can be, and how impatient too. I can do more at one time and accomplish less in 24 hours than I would have ever thought possible. I also care more about some things, like life in the year 2020, than I did before.
As I deftly blew up and tied off a dozen balloons for my daughter’s birthday, I thought how much I’ve learned. And with just a wince, how much — from how to close a stroller one-handed to where to change a diaper at the fair — I no longer need to know.
Considering her list was written almost 30 years ago, so much of it is true for my motherhood experience as well. A few more from my own personal list:
- How to find enough energy to get through middle of the night crisises – a kid covered in vomit, a kid screaming from a nightmare, or a kid who is too congested to sleep.
- How to leave work at 4:00 when you’d rather work until 5:30.
- The names of Thomas and all of his friends, and lots of other things about trains.
- How to tell the difference between a backhoe and a front loader.
- The importance of carrying a spare diaper, wipes, and a disposable changing mat in my purse for after school errands.
- How to keep a toddler entertained on a long road trip or plane ride.
- That singing a song can help increase a child’s patience when waiting.
- The importance of ignoring my phone and my work so I can have quality time with my son.
I have a lot still to learn, and I wish my mom was still around to help me with some of the things on her list. (I have yet to attempt to sew on swim patches, and it takes me a lot longer than 90 seconds to pack a lunch.) Still, I’m proud of what I’ve learned so far in my three years of being a mom.
Do you have great lessons you’ve learned as a parent? Please share in the comments.
